Meditation: Being Lost in Love
“When I asked Maharajji how to meditate, he said ‘Meditate like Christ.” I said ‘Maharajji, how did Christ meditate?” He became very quiet and closed his eyes. After a few minutes, he had a blissful expression on his face, and a tear trickled down his cheek. He opened his eyes and said, “He lost himself in love.” – Ram Dass
I only began meditating a few years ago. Before that, I just assumed or convinced myself, that it wasn’t for me, it was for other people that were not in control of their lives like I was (sidebar – I completely blew my life up). I was a ‘doer’, I got things done, and I was getting all the rewards of materialism without meditation.
And of course, I have ADHD so I couldn’t possibly sit still and calm my mind with mediation like other people. I created a special category for myself. I needed to move my body with extreme exercise practices and distract my mind with constant sensory bombardment. When that failed there was alcohol.
“It’s too hard”. “It’s for other people”. “It’s weird”. “I follow the science”. “How about a pill?”. “Can I pay someone $150 an hour so I can tell them half-truths about my problems?” “Maybe a plant medicine journey?” “A two-day retreat once a year”.
I didn’t find mediation, meditation found me. When I hit my bottom there was nothing left for me to do but sit in my pain. There was nobody left to sit with me and there was nowhere I could go. I had burned it all to the ground. I was only left with a mind full of broken thoughts and distorted memories that I needed to turn off to survive one more day. This was the gift of desperation.
When I opened that gift, I found a meditation practice that has completely transformed my life. At first, I had no idea why it was working but I didn’t care because it was calming my mind. I was feeling my feelings and my thinking was clearing up in a way that I thought was impossible. It has turned ADHD into a superpower which could be controlled and directed.
Fake it and you will make it, but you have to believe it.
Now I understand why it works. Meditation is a technology that moves us from our thinking minds to our hearts. From the ego to the Self. It allows us to transcend and dissolve our limited and finite programmed patterns of behaviour and connects us with a deeper infinite knowledge called consciousness. Consciousness is the manifestation of love.
Now, I meditate every day, and every day, at some point, a tear rolls down my face as I lose myself in love. And when I am done, and I open my eyes, I am lost in love with the world.