From the One to the Many

Up until this very moment I had been planning to write on a different topic than the one at hand. However, as I sit here with my Channel wide open, which is my process of inspired writing, something entirely different is wanting to emerge. I am overwhelmed by feelings of reverence, gratitude and joy from the events of the week. The feeling is all consuming and I am moving with the flow of it. What started as an interaction that at first seemed small, and perhaps even inconsequential, has expanded into something with incredible meaning and profound significance to me. At the risk of sounding overly dramatic, I think the genesis of these events will forever impact my work and will likely reverberate for a long time to come.

“A young man who cannot cry [for others] is a savage, and an old man who cannot laugh [at himself] is a fool” – Richard Rohr

Three days ago, I had the opportunity to speak to my stepdaughter’s Grade 12 social justice class on the topic of addiction. The backdrop to this, is that a few weeks prior, her class had discussed addiction and recovery as part of their curriculum. My stepdaughter, who is very familiar with my history of addiction, recovery and current work in the field of addiction, came home with the observation of an information gap between what she was learning at school and what she has learned from me. None of this is of course overly surprising as there is often a gap between theory and experience that is both personal and transpersonal. However, I felt called to try and be of service and asked if her teacher would be interested in having me come in and speak to her class. In all honesty neither of us were expecting a “yes”. I have a profound reverence and respect for this teacher as not only was it a yes, but it was “how soon can you come”, “there are not guardrails on what you can say” and “you can have the full hour of class to present you message of “experience, strength and hope”. You see, she even made an effort to meet me with my own language and make me feel welcome and seen. She had already inspired me to bring my best.

So, three days ago I showed up to class, and for about 25 minutes shared my story of experience, strength and hope and took questions for 30 minutes. I shared a very minimally censored, extremely graphic and real story of the depths that I fell to during addiction, the miracle that happened when I finally admitted my powerlessness over drugs and alcohol and the new freedom and abundance that I have found in a life free from addiction.  I had no idea what to expect going in, as I had never shared something this raw with a group this age before. What transpired blew my mind,

• All of them were locked in and focused – I could feel the relevance that this topic had in all their lives (for one reason or another).

• No one looking at phones, no one fidgeting, no one whispering to one another – just locked in with me and me with them.

• I felt no judgement – I felt only compassion, empathy and love

• They asked the deepest and most profoundly relevant questions I think I have ever been asked by a group – this mattered to them.

I walked out of there feeling that something special had happened and I was right, because what has happened since then has been nothing short of incredible. [I am being mindful of the anonymity of others as I share generally from this point on]. The container of vulnerability and safety that we co-created in that classroom has opened a new door and may have initiated a new path to healing for everyone there. Having participated in the group healing process, that takes place when one person feels safe enough to bare themselves and shed tears without fear of judgement, others have been empowered to do the same. Students have come forward to share their own struggles with their peers and no longer need to face the battle alone - as a recovered addict I have no words to describe how meaningful this is to me.  Other parents are planning to come and tell their own stories to this class and other classes! Finally, the students are all talking more openly amongst themselves and their parents, with a layer of a stigma on the topic having been removed. All of this in three days.

Our Youth Need Elders

I am grateful that this old man has been humbled enough to not take himself seriously anymore. I can share my story, not skip the hard parts and still laugh at myself in the process. Hopefully, in doing so I can impart on these young people that it is ok to ask for help when we need it and more importantly, having empathy and support for others will bring new meaning to their own lives. I plan to do more of this and my call to action is for you to do the same in whatever capacity you can.

The Way