The Light of Illumination

This is a topic I have been inspired to write about for some time now, but I have struggled to orient my thoughts and express it in words. The topic is challenging because if you have not had a direct experience, it seems that no number of words, or ways of explaining it, will give it any meaning or credibility. Conversely, if you have had any type of direct experience, it is likely that you will connect with my meaning in the first three words. The light of Spirit, or the light of illumination, is an ineffable concept.

With that, and a recognition that the only thing I am a subject-matter expert in is my own experience, I am drawing heavily from it in this post. For most of my life, I identified as an agnostic. I didn’t rule out the idea of a central, creative, and organizing force in the universe (Spirit, God, Creator, etc.), but I had not experienced it directly, nor did I believe I was lacking anything in its absence. I was playing God in my own life, and things seemed to be going just fine—until they didn’t, of course, which is a complete understatement of how fast my life violently unraveled while playing the God of my own universe. In the absolute darkest hour of my life, “the light” showed up—not as a crack through a slightly opened door, but as a floodlight of illumination that revealed a perspective and view of “life” I had never encountered before, or for that matter, even imagined.

Initially, this was far more than my psyche could integrate. It was incredibly disorienting, and I was, in many ways, fractured and psychologically split by it. But by grace, I had the inspired awareness that this was the beginning of a long journey I had been yearning for my entire life. I spent years seeking understanding and grounding through exploring countless spiritual systems and esoteric teachings. I read spiritual books and ancient scripture like I was drinking from a fire hose. I became a yoga teacher, a Reiki practitioner, a transformational life coach, earned a master’s degree in psychology, and joined many spiritual fellowships. I adopted new practices, new teachers, gurus—and then learned how to let them all go. Slowly and steadily, the light seemed to come in a bit more each day. I now understand there was no light “coming in” at all. Instead, it was the light of the soul penetrating out of the prison of conditioning it had been trapped in—the illumination of conversion, as they say.

My direct experience in working with others is that when this light emerges within you, it creates a yearning that will never cease in your lifetime. The only choice becomes whether to embrace its emergence or try to numb it out. This choice, of course, leads to vastly different outcomes. If embraced, this light begins to illuminate the Great Mystery—that is, the illumination of the Infinite. I can’t explain what that means, but I can share how my relationship to the world has changed in response to it. These characteristics seem to be a common outcome of conversion throughout the ages (reference to William James).

• A feeling of living in a much wider life than that of my old selfish interests and small, self-centred world.

  
  

• A willingness to surrender to a higher power in all aspects of my affairs—a complete release of control.

  
  

• A euphoric feeling of total freedom as the prison of an old identity dissolves away.

  
  

• A shifting of my emotional centre toward unconditional love and unconditional forgiveness.

  
  

• A disinterest in material comforts or pursuits—there is nothing to accomplish or achieve that is not Spirit.

  
  

• A movement toward blissful equanimity and the absence of fear, where I don’t mind what happens next—“come heaven or hell, it makes no difference.”

  
  

• The requirement of rigorous honesty and purity of character as the foundational principle of life.

  
  

• An increase in tenderness and a deep love for all people—“love your enemies and judge not.”

  
  

• A deep connection with an unseen and benevolent force that connects everything.

  
  

• A commitment to non-violence and a deep love for all living creatures.

  
  

If you feel the embrace as I have, I encourage you to seek companionship and not attempt to continue the spiritual journey alone in a material world. There are many of us who will walk hand in hand with you on this road to happy destiny.

The Way