I was always trying to be “somebody”. That is what society teaches. Right? Study hard, work hard, play hard and demonstrate that I have the “correct” beliefs and then I will be somebody…someday….but never today. This led to learned patterns of behaviours (addictions). By that I mean the creation of neural pathways in the brain that become entrenched and grooved as the path of least resistance to the flow of energy as I repeated my “being someone” program. I never stopped to ask: “Why am I doing this?” "Why do I want to make widgets, climb mountains, pay bills, and do the exact same thing as everyone else?”. “When did I choose this?” But I had no time for questions….I had widgets to make, mountains to climb and bills to pay, or else I would fall behind. I wouldn’t be “somebody”…someday.
I became powerless over my addictive behaviours (work, materialism, consumerism, exercise, coaching kids sports, social media, conformity, alcohol ….MAYA) and my life become completely unmanageable. Only then was I forced to ask why I was doing this, only to find find out there were no good answers.
The Dark Night of the Soul
“Each individual is unique, unparalleled; there is not another person like you in the whole universe. That is your natural state. But, we ignore that fact and try to put everybody in a common mould and create what we call the greatest common factor. Our education, religion and culture are geared towards producing copies of acceptable models, and in the process, destroying that unique, living quality in a child, in every human being, which is yearning to blossom and express itself. Otherwise, there would be more human flowers. But given its nature, society cannot be interested in such human flowers. At best, it can put them on a pedestal, domesticate them and make them part of its structure” -Krishnamurti
Our entire identity is wrapped around trying to be someone that we could never be because it is not in our true nature. We are already a perfect expression of love, and the necessary transformation is one of simply letting go of false narratives and stories our unconscious minds feed us. We are what we seek, there is nothing that we are not.
Now, I am only trying to be Nobody. Not someday…..just today.
In Love, Forgiveness, and Service,