Surpassing three years of sobriety has given me a moment to reflect on the most impactful changes during my journey. I am beginning to understand the power of my mind, the power of awareness, the power of living in service of others and the power of living every moment by spiritual principles.
My old “self” was not aware of the voice in my head guiding me on a rollercoaster ride of ups and downs. The momentum of any positive change that I attempted would be sabotaged by the thoughts in my head. The thoughts that said “I’m not good enough”, “Remember what happened last time you tried?” or “I’m not supposed to feel this uncomfortable”. Once I had the awareness to be the observer of my thoughts, and not a slave to them, they become useful tools to shed light on the old identity that I had been attached too. That place where I was still holding onto lies and false stories.
What I’ve learned is; don’t wait for the mind to be quiet. As I have become more aware of my natural state of being, I realize it has been here along. It is not something I needed to aspire to. It had been concealed and hidden by the chaos of my thinking. I had been conditioned to believe that the thoughts arising in my head were true, and not just repetitive projections from my own past experience and traumas. These thoughts comprised my personal identity, or at least who I thought I was, but they were just self-sabotaging distractions from who I really am. This was my experience in early recovery. I was distracted by the thoughts in my mind that were sabotaging my efforts to change. And ultimately, to transform.
We do not have to try to become “awakened or enlightened” or even have the intention to find the “Self” to find peace. By removing the desire or intention to use our mind to become conscious, we can enter our natural state of being. It can be effortless if we give ourselves the space to do so. Let the mind chatter and do not give it the energy by resisting and instead, just observe it without attachment. We do not have to be spiritual doers, we don’t have to try and guide the mind. Allowing yourself to recognize the consciousness of self by non-doing and just Being.
If we continue practicing this, we will see our perspective on life changes, our energy shifts to a lighter, more loving state and we begin to live fearlessly.
“The mind does not tire, but we tire. We become victims of our minds...
We are the seeds of awakening in a sleeping world. But these seeds must become mighty trees.” - Mooji