Growing up I made detailed notes of 5 year plans and then 10 year plans. Why? So I could grasp comfort in the idea I had “control” over my future. As if writing down my plans would ensure it would come true. I became obsessed with the little details of schedules, plans and goals. Fixated on a particular outcome, thinking I knew what was best. That somehow 19 year old Nikki would understand the wants, needs and desires of my 29 year old self. When I say it now, it sounds crazy. How could one ever expect this plan to work out well? The only real guarantee in life is: change.
Assuming I was in total control of my life and future only led to one thing - expectations and let down. Society had convinced me that I WAS in fact in control of my life 100% and that caused pain and sadness when my expectations were not met. This is not living.
In order to truly live, I had to learn acceptance. I had to let go of expectations, knowing that the only thing truly guaranteed in life is change. I had to learn to not only accept change as a fact of life, but embrace it, even welcome it.
Acceptance allows us to be in the flow of life, instead of fighting it. We are not the creators of the future, we are just here to experience the present. Expectations and control go against the very nature of the universe and thus restrict our ability to truly live life.
Maybe we don’t know what is best. Maybe we are supposed to experience that heartache. Maybe that loss will be the breaking point we need. Maybe, just maybe, the universe has a much bigger plan for you. Maybe we just need to let go and enjoy the ride.